By accessing or using any Keter Bank service, product, interface, API endpoint, or adjacent webpage, you ("the Account Holder") unconditionally agree to be bound by these Terms of Service. This agreement is irrevocable, non-transferable, and considerably more binding than anything you've agreed to in recent memory.
1.1 Preemptive Agreement. In the interest of operational efficiency, Account Holders agree not only to the current version of these Terms, but to all future versions, revisions, amendments, and interpretive expansions thereof, including those not yet conceived. You agree now. You will continue to agree. There is no version of events in which you do not agree.
1.2 Retroactive Acceptance. Acceptance is deemed to have occurred at the earliest possible moment, which legal scholars have determined to be "whenever it's most convenient for us."
1.3 Continued Use. Your continued use of Keter Bank constitutes renewed acceptance each time you log in, view your balance, think about your balance, or mention Keter Bank in conversation.
TL;DR: You agreed. You will agree again. You agree right now, even while reading this sentence. This is legally enforceable under the jurisdiction described in Section 12.
To open a Keter Bank account, you must possess a valid Minecraft UUID and be a recognised player on the server. Keter Bank reserves the right to approve or deny account applications without explanation, justification, or emotional processing.
2.1 Identity Verification. You agree that your Minecraft username and UUID accurately represent your identity and that any attempt to impersonate another player constitutes fraud under the Server Legal Code, subsection "Don't Do That."
2.2 One Account Per Player. Each player is entitled to one personal account. Business accounts are available via a separate application process and carry their own additional Terms, which you have also agreed to preemptively.
2.3 Age Requirements. You must be old enough to understand what a bank is. If you are unsure whether you qualify, please consult a trusted adult or a dictionary.
All balances, transactions, loans, and financial products denominated by Keter Bank are expressed in KTR (Keter Units), the official currency of the server economy. KTR has no cash value, no exchange rate with real-world fiat currencies, and cannot be redeemed for goods, services, or emotional support outside of the server.
3.1 Non-Convertibility. Keter Bank will not, under any circumstances, exchange KTR for actual money. Requests to do so will be met with polite confusion followed by a form letter.
3.2 Balance Integrity. Keter Bank maintains accurate records of all balances. In the event of a server wipe, reset, rollback, or act of administrative god, all balances may be adjusted to reflect the new reality, including zero.
3.3 Inflation Policy. The Bank may, at its sole discretion, introduce new currency into circulation, retire old denominations, or simply decide that the numbers are different now. Monetary policy is handled internally and is not subject to Account Holder input.
Keter Bank facilitates instant transfers between player accounts. Once a transfer is initiated and confirmed, it is final and irreversible. Keter Bank accepts no responsibility for misdirected transfers resulting from typographical errors, accidental button presses, peer pressure, or poor life choices.
4.1 Transfer Limits. The Bank reserves the right to impose transfer limits, cooling-off periods, or suspicious activity holds at any time, with or without explanation.
4.2 Transaction Records. All transactions are logged, timestamped, and visible to Bank administrators for compliance and auditing purposes. "Compliance" here means "the admin can see what you did."
Keter Bank offers credit card and loan products subject to administrator approval. By applying for any credit product, you acknowledge that approval is not guaranteed, rejection is not personal (it might be a little personal), and all credit extended is issued entirely at the Bank's discretion.
5.1 Loan Repayment. Loans must be repaid in accordance with the terms issued at origination. Failure to repay may result in account restrictions, negative balance reporting, or a strongly-worded announcement.
5.2 Card Security. Card details are encrypted with AES-256-GCM and never stored in plaintext. Keter Bank's security practices are, frankly, more rigorous than some real banks, which should concern you about those banks, not us.
5.3 Responsible Lending Disclaimer. Keter Bank encourages responsible borrowing. Taking out a 50,000 KTR loan to corner the emerald market is a strategic decision that we support philosophically but cannot endorse legally.
The following activities are expressly prohibited and may result in immediate account suspension, balance forfeiture, or public shaming:
Keter Bank reserves the right to determine what constitutes a "prohibited activity" on a rolling basis, consistent with the preemptive amendment clause in Section 1.1.
Keter Bank administrators may freeze, suspend, or close any account at any time for any reason, including but not limited to: suspected fraud, policy violations, outstanding loan balances, or vibes. Frozen accounts cannot initiate transfers or access credit products until the freeze is lifted.
7.1 Appeals. Account Holders may appeal administrative decisions by contacting the Bank through official server channels. Appeals will be considered in good faith. "Good faith" is defined by the administrator.
7.2 Balance Forfeiture. In cases of proven fraud or severe policy violation, the Bank may seize account balances in part or in full. Such balances will be allocated to the General Reserve, which is a real fund and not just what we call our pocket.
Keter Bank collects the minimum data necessary to operate: your Minecraft username, UUID, hashed password, account balance, and transaction history. We do not sell your data, share it with third parties outside of the server, or use it for advertising targeting. Principally because there is nothing to advertise.
8.1 OAuth Applications. Third-party applications that connect via the Keter Bank OAuth 2.0 system may request access to specific data scopes. You control which scopes are granted and may revoke access at any time. Third-party developers are bound by their own terms with you; Keter Bank bears no responsibility for what they do with your balance information.
8.2 Security Responsibilities. You are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of your password. Keter Bank will never ask for your password via in-game chat, Discord DM, or threatening letter.
To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law (and the extent of what "applicable law" means in this context is genuinely a philosophical question), Keter Bank shall not be liable for:
Notice: KTR is not legal tender. Keter Bank is not a licensed financial institution. No depositor insurance exists. These Terms are governed by the server's legal framework, not your jurisdiction's consumer protection laws, not that there's a meaningful distinction here.
All disputes arising from or relating to these Terms, Account Holder relationships, or Keter Bank operations shall be resolved through the server's established legal and governance framework. The Bank Administrator serves as the final and binding arbitrator in all financial matters.
10.1 Binding Arbitration. You waive your right to a jury trial, class action participation, and any legal remedy outside the server's jurisdiction. This is not a meaningful waiver given the context, but we are including it for completeness.
10.2 Resolution Timeline. The Bank Administrator will address disputes "when available," which is a timeline subject to in-game schedules, real-world obligations, and general availability.
Keter Bank reserves the right to modify these Terms at any time, for any reason, without prior notice. As established in Section 1.1, you have already agreed to all such future modifications. Publication of revised Terms on this page constitutes sufficient notice, even if you never return to read them.
11.1 Version History. Keter Bank does not maintain a public version history of these Terms. The current version is the correct version. Previous versions did not exist, or if they did, they were worse.
11.2 Notification. Keter Bank may, but is not obligated to, announce significant changes via the server announcement system. Announcement delivery is best-effort and subject to the same terms as the rest of the agreement.
These Terms are governed exclusively by the laws, customs, and administrative precedents of the server on which Keter Bank operates. In the event of conflict between these Terms and any external legal framework, the server's governance takes precedence within the scope of the server, which is the only scope that matters here.
12.1 Severability. If any provision of these Terms is found to be unenforceable, the remaining provisions remain in full force. If all provisions are found unenforceable, we will simply write new ones, which you have already agreed to.
12.2 Entire Agreement. These Terms, together with any policies, guidelines, and announcements published by Keter Bank, constitute the entire agreement between the Bank and the Account Holder, superseding all prior understandings, whether written, oral, or implied during a Minecraft session.
© 2026 Keter Bank. All rights reserved. These Terms are subject to change at any time. You have agreed to those changes.